The Pause That Refreshes

June 10th, 2011 by Ryan Windeyer |

When I woke up the morning of graduation, I looked out my window and immediately went back to bed. The sky was not the perfect shade of Carolina blue I had envisioned but instead a dismal gray with storm clouds gathering. Nonetheless, I found myself hours later standing in the sea of blue robes anxiously awaiting the end of the ceremony and the officialness of being college graduates.

I could not help but think the weather was a suitable metaphor for the mixture of ambivalence and elation I was feeling. It has been a difficult thing to grasp, but at the moment my job search is on hold. Instead of submitting cover letters these days, I am traveling and volunteering in Europe with one of my best friends from college. At the moment, we are working on an organic vineyard in northern Italy.

There are a lot of things that are not ideal about the current situation. If this were a perfect world, I would have secured my dream job in October. Alas, as we all know this is not a perfect world. Thus, I am off traveling not only without the security of returning to paid employment but also the inability to continue my job search from abroad. Even in the world of widespread Internet, I have quickly realized that without the possibility of interviewing in person, sending off cover letters is near futile.

Yet, with all these uncertainties and underlying feelings of guilt for pasuing the search, I feel overwhelmingly fortunate and happy to be taking this trip. This adventure (and it has lived up to that term so far) is something Ive spent inconceivable amounts of time dreaming, planning and saving for this past year.

What it comes down to is that time is one of the most important things I have. Right now I have a moment of freedom from nearly all obligations while I am young—something I am sure will not exist once the 9 to 5 begins. In deciding to travel, I realize that jobs will fill while I am away and some opportunities will be lost. However, I know other positions will open in the meantime and the cycle of applying will continue when I return.

It has been two weeks since I turned my tassle to the right but still I feel the sunny optimism that ended the ceremony. As the chancellor announced the Class of 2011, the sun came out in full force as if to remind us that even the grayest days can give away to sun. This is a pause, but certainly not quits.

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